Hey guys, what's your relationship to other men in your life?
I know for me, it wasn't until my late 20's that I was able to feel safe enough to explore friendships with other men. I experienced a fair amount of bullying growing up and also felt that because I was gay, I couldn't relate to men or that I was less of a man.
This all changed for me when I was called to join a men's group. I met every week with the same group of men, who were strangers to begin with, but over the course of 2 years became brothers. It wasn't always comfortable, in fact it was a major edge for me, but it truly changed my life.
Since building healthy relationships to men in my life, I have deepened my self worth, expanded my community, healed childhood trauma, and been called forward in so many ways. It's also been reflected back to me the value I bring to the community of men because of my sexuality and unique energy.
Spending most of my time with women growing up and into my 20's, I was used to experiencing the soft and safe space of being with the feminine. That was comfortable for me because I had spent most of my life in a gentle feminine state too. What I learned from letting men into my life is that I really thrive with having the masculine edge reflect back to me and call me on my blindspots.
I know now from years of mens work and the majority of my clients being men, that a large amount of men suffer from isolation, loneliness, low self worth, trauma, addiction, and a loss of their masculine power. A powerful antidote to healing these wounds or patterns is to surround yourself with men. To face it all head on and name it out loud.
If you can relate to any of my story, my hope for you is that you will seek a men's group or at very least reach out to a man in your life. We are blessed enough to be living in a time where men's work is readily available for those that are ready to call themselves forward.
You don't have to do it all alone, in fact we often can't.
To all my brothers out there, know that you are worthy and there is so much available when you lean into the edges that feel uncomfortable.
- Derek