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Let's talk about your feelings.

#1 You don’t have to justify your feelings. Feelings simply exist; there is no right or wrong in how you feel. You may wish you felt differently, but you don’t have to justify your feelings in order to feel them.


#2 Feelings want to be recognized, and they will continue to push into your awareness until you acknowledge them. Sometimes just being aware of your feelings is enough for them to change. Knowing that feelings aren’t permanent allows you more freedom to explore your emotions.


When you push feelings away, they still manage to express themselves, but often in more unconscious ways.


Since we tend to act out whatever we don’t allow ourselves to feel, looking at your behaviour can tell you a lot about your feelings.


#3 Just because you’re aware of your feelings doesn’t mean you have to act in a certain way or express them inappropriately.


For men especially, anger often masks hurt, sadness, or fear. Because we've been modelled that It’s more acceptable for men to be in touch with anger, you may overlook the hurt, sadness, or fear that’s underneath the anger.


When you can identify the underlying feelings of sadness or hurt, it’s often a lot easier for your partner to listen to you.


Expressing your feelings with vulnerability and honesty builds intimacy and trust. Your willingness to be real with how you feel, first with yourself, and then with your partner (or friend/family/colleague), is the foundation to deeper relationship with yourself and others and the gateway to healthy communication.